It is I, the Lone Wolf, and I command you all to buy my book, I’m Famous!
It is all about ME, so you know it is of the highest quality. Or so I am told. I have no time for reading. Because I am not of the nerd like you filthy jack-a-ninny peasants reading this, right now.
You probably wear glasses and have the wrinkles from all your withdrawn bookworm antics. Sitting alone reading by candlelight? What folly! Get a life, dorks!
Well, my indolent little chum, put that geek time to good use by reading something of worth. The book entitled I’m Famous! Which stares me. And some other petulant coattail riders…I think.
But mostly me. And my Hollywood elite brethren.
It is a glimpse into glory, surely the closest you’ll ever come to actually experiencing such euphoria in your hollow little life.
Oh, and there is a ghost! That is very important. Possibly multiple ghosts! I know how you kids love your spirits and phantoms.
Why are you still here? I hath commanded upon high for you to buy mine book, sit by the mail delivery reciprocal, then read the tome upon its triumphant revival. NOW!
This message was approved by the committee to elect Herman Cain, and will self destruct in ten seconds.